The Feminine Mystique...My Lovely Lady Hills

The NYT's review of MTV's hit un/scripted reality show, The Hills, now in the second week of its extended season 3, has been the talk of the town, no doubt helping the show garner the highest cable ratings of 2008. No, not for its scathing criticism, but instead for its endorsement of one Heidi Montag as a "kind of feminist hero," making one wonder, how much did Spencer have to pay to get his latest product/girlfriend/fembot mayjah exposure in the most venerable paper in the country? (Sorry WaPost, I'm a New Yorker, after all).

NYT Review of The Hills

Perhaps The Times can be accused of placating to the masses considering that the country's first major daily newspaper in Madison, Wisconsin became online-only last month. This trend will most definitely continue to grow as news corporations struggle to remain well, newsworthy, by continuing to lose exclusives to the blogosphere and previously untapped online ad revenue shares.

First Major Newspaper To End Print Editions In Transition To Internet

Newspapers all over are taking more risks. Last week, the LATimes posted an article released exclusively to the web incorrectly indicating Sean "Diddy" Combs's involvement in Tupac Shukar's untimely death, based on fabricated FBI testimony from an incarcerated, chubby white boy rapper (no, not Eminem), which they immediately recanted.

The Times apologizes over article on rapper

Now, is this Hills review a desperate shot to gain teen readers interested in the oft-ignored Gray Lady? I think so.

Although Ms. Bellafante has humorous remarks, comparing the show's plotless structure to Antonioni's wavering modernist filmmaking (it does? whoops, didn't notice) and Whitney's blank expression to that of a Shakespearian mute, I can't ignore her praise of Heidi, an opportunist, or dare I say, famewhore?

Personally, I would be remiss if I didn't admit to pining for unattainable guys a la Lauren Conrad, but I really can't imagine young girls looking up to Heidi Montag or any of the girls on The Hills, for that matter. I'm looking in your general direction, Audrina Patridge. The other Shakespearian mute and sidekick of LC, who just apologized to the "young girls who look up to me" over leaked (by who?) nudie shots of her before she was "famous" hit the 'net one week prior to The Hills return. Likely story.



Nevermind Thing #2. Heidi, LC's arch nemesis, dropped out of fashion school after one day, tricked her manipulative boyfriend into thinking she was pregnant just to see his reaction (The Hills Season 1), and stayed with said boyfriend despite his repeat indiscretions and general mistreatment of her because he is the next great ad wizard (Donny Deutsch, you'e my next target) having sold drunken underage pictures of MK Olsen during high school, which he bragged about in last year's GQ feature story on him and former bff Brody Jenner (mmm Brody Jenner). Where do they fiiiiiind these ad wizards?


Pardon the interruption but wow. Who knew Robin packed so much heat? I guess having a world champion decathlete for a father can't hurt. Call me, Brody!

But I digress. Call me a baroque moralist, if you will, Ms. Bellafonte, but I'm on Team LC on this one, if I must choose or lose. I just can't respect someone who so obviously stages photo opps and a showmance complete with on-again/off-again breakups with a Machiavellian madman just to land on the cover of US Weekly week after week, while I would rather be watching Britney's latest act of unbridled shamelessness. Or was it Miley Cyrus? I can't remember what "South Park" told me to think. Furthermore, I can't respect the depiction of Heidi as a responsible working woman and a trusted associate of nightlife impressario Brent Bolthouse, who likely hired Heidi to yield his dope clubs and restaurants maximum publicity on the sickest Network out there, fo sho. (Scooch over. Save me some room in VIP, will ya?)

And don't even get me started on The Hills's upper right-hand corner hipster band to watch advertisements this season, either, although it sure beats the incessant whining of Natasha Beddingfield. No, I don't want to feel the rain on my skin, quite frankly.

Speaking of which, if Heidi was a career woman, how would she have time to stage so many scantily clad bikini beach shots in Malibu (which Jimmy Kimmel recently ribbed her for) or to hit the studio in what Spencer projects will be "diamond" selling records. (Is there even such a thing? I thought after platinum, artists are just confirmed "quadruple-platinum" selling artists and such).

Best Week Ever Presents: Heidi Montag's Video for "Higher"

Well, maybe Heidi has outsmarted LC, The NYTimes and even yours truly. Given her record deal and forthcoming "Heidiwood" clothing line set to launch at Anchor Blue stores at a mall near you, perhaps famewhoring has its rewards in the end?

Although media scholars would have projected reality television to have run its course by now, the truth remains: it is really addicting and better than a lot of the crap on network TV. ("According to Jim", anyone? Even this shameful reference has been tired since "Arrested Development" got cancelled.) Nevermind, the fact that my DVR list consists of Kardashians, Real Housewives and yes, even the groupies on Rock of Love 2. When will we tire of the shameless self-promotion of power hungry hot girls? Will we stop rewarding cowardice with approval? When Paris finds a new BFF?

With our first serious female contender running for president, do we reward the working woman or would we rather see catty, pretty girls fight over boyfriends or "boyfriends" in Heidi's case? Do we all not so/secretly harbor adoration so much that we can't get enough? Maybe The NYTimes' adulation of The Hills is the latest example of the struggling news industry's attempt to find relevance in an otherwise dismissive society. Who really knows? The rest is still unwritten.