George Clooney: I'd still do him

From the beginning of time, celebrities have complained about the perils of giving up their private lives in exchange for a shot at fame. From the curse of "The Little Rascals" (thanks, E!) to the recent wild-child antics of Britney Spears, these poor millionaires often suffer for their art. While it's easy to envy the lifestyles of the rich and famous, have you ever really wondered what problems your favorite stars like George Clooney must face? No? Me either.

People magazine's twice-crowned Sexiest Man Alive and Academy Award-winning (oh yeah) actor George Clooney fears not the public's disapproval in light of the just-leaked photographs of zombie gf Sarah Larson's colorful former Vegas past that stood to negatively affect the box office take of latest directorial effort "Leatherheads". I guess that's why he decided to date her in the first place.

Well, what could shake the confidence of the ever-modest self-deprecator? His rugged good looks, his bread and butter. The true OG silver fox (Sorry, Dr. Drew, I spoke out of turn), recently confided to the UK's Eve magazine, "I've got good screen hair so I must make the most of it before it falls out." He's so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him.

Exqueeze me, baking powder, but isn't this the same man who sported a mullet for the better part of a decade during which time the thesp fought killer tomatoes, teased preppy school girls ("Girrrrls!") and flirted with cranky overweight midwestern housewives? Yeah, I thought so.



And, didn't gorge George bloat out and grow a Wolfman Jack beard inspired by The DeNiro Method to score a second Sexiest Man Alive accolade, I mean, Oscar in 2005?

Your "Oceans" pranks don't fool me, Mr. Clooney; and nor will your looks as they fade or improve over time.

As it stands: I'd do a Mulleted Clooney. A Cesared Clooney. A gray Clooney. A fat Clooney. A bearded Clooney. Hell, even a toothless Clooney. Must I go on?

Just smile and look pretty. We love you just the way you are!