I Blame Orange Oprah

Does anyone remember the episode of 90210 when Brenda tried to dye her hair blonde to fit in with the other girls at West Beverly but wound up hiding the funky mix between Gatorade orange and burnt sienna under a Blossom Russo-inspired floral hat? Well, I do! It scarred and scared me for life. And that's what I think about every time I see Shannen Doherty 2.0 Lindsay Lohan.



Irish girls are not allowed to dye their hair blonde. And don't even GET me started on your orange complexion, girl! I'm glad my mom in all her Cindy Walsh glory never allowed me to dye my hair, especially during my alt-hippie junior high phase when all my friends dyed their hair Manic Panic red and blue.

We may not all be "California beautiful" (read: blonde) by birthright but get Orange Oprah out of your ear and let your natural red hair shine in all its Irish splendor! You're gorgeous (and look like me), so I have a vested interest!

Good Morning, Angels

GOOD morning, indeed. Sorry, I needed an excuse to post this. Sorry, Easy V!

I Can Bearly Stand Grey's Anatomy

Did anyone else think it was in bad form that this week's episode of Grey's Anatomy featured the victim of a bear attack? I wasn't even disgusted by the "intestines in the hand" screen shot or the latest strange medical "discovery" Seattle Grace had uncovered.

But rather, Grey's cheap Law & Order -esque "ripped from the headlines" exploitation of the senseless mauling of Semi-Pro star Dewie the Bear's animal trainer. Don't call me Shirley, but surely, the Networks will do anything to grab attention these days.

Dewie the Bear in Semi Pro

Just Being Miley?

Faster than you can say taco flavored keeses from my Ben, America's sweetheart and latest papparazzi target Miley Cyrus has come undone. The Hannah Montana hitmaker was photographed in a spread for Vanity Fair by noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker, I mean, Annie Leibovitz draped in nothing but a sheet. While Miley is not knocked up like her "good friend" Jamie Lynn Spears, Ms. Cyrus's scantily clad image does little to protect the billion-dollar franchise she's helped Disney accrue.

In the past few weeks, Miley's scantily clad Myspace shots have surfaced on the Internets and have been panned as badly "photoshopped" pictures set to take down the Disney diva. With the latest developments from Graydon Carter's glossy, the fifteen year old's career could take a major hit.

Take for instance, the career of Gretchen Mol. The star of The Notorious Bettie Page took a massive swandive off the Hollywood sign in 1998 when she posed nude as a covergirl in Vanity Fair along with the proclamation that she was Hollywood's next it girl. Praised too soon, Mol couldn't keep up with her overinflated title and didn't find a meaty role until Christine Vachon cast her the infamous bondaged babe who exploited her looks to get ahead.

While I'm not here to argue the aesthetics or legacy of Bettie Page, far too often women use their sexuality to get ahead. Is it wrong? Are we all guilty of it to some degree? Or are we just being Miley?

Hwhat in the hail, Justin Bobby?

Dayum, you've cleaned up, son. How you doin?

I'm starting to think I like Audrina the best out of the Hills girls. I know, it's hard to believe I'm even typing this, but I'm sick of LC's constant Debbie Downer-isms (whomp whomp) and you know how I feel about the NYT's proclaimed feminist hero.

The Feminine Mystique...My Lovely Lady Hills

All I know is I want Justin Bobby around much more, even if I must follow Audrina's googley Heaven-directed eyes across the screen. Can't find a better man...

Team Justin Bobby!

Bloody Hell, Make Leona Lewis Stop!

My ears keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding, love. What gives? As Simon Cowell's newest protégé Leona Lewis, the winner of Britain's Idol contest The X Factor , climbs the Billboard Hot 100, more and more blood seeps from my ears. Truly. I can barely stand it!

Primed to be "the next Whitney Houston" or "the next Mariah Carey" depending on which overzealous critique you come across, I can't help but wonder why can't Whitney Houston be "the next Whitney Houston"? Certainly, Simon has Clive Davis's ear given their American Idol partnership. Yeah, I know jive Clive has got Miss Whitney tied to a radiator somewhere presumably in the greater Los Angeles area, but can't they let her come out to play? No one buys BOBBAY's claims that he "never used cocaine until after [he] met Whitney" anyway. This, of course, is the same man who just lost a lucrative record deal on CMT's Gone Country to Enrique's hotter but less talented brother, Julio Iglesias, Jr. I wish I were kidding.

Even Mariah's drinking the haterade. When asked about "the next Mariah Carey," Mimi deadpaned, "They've been comparing people to me for longer than I can remember...if [she's] the new me, can [she] come and do my interviews for me or get in the studio and write one of my songs?" Wow, Tai, that was way harsh. But true.

C'mon Idol give back or there will be blood. I will always love you.

Leona Lewis: Bleeding Love

Catholic School Girls Rule

I'm conducting research on the Catholic school experience. Any readers care to fill me in on how it's different from public school, what was especially "Catholic" about it (ie priests/nuns/prayer/mass/if you weren't taught "the whole story" in biology/health class etc etc)? Other than that, if you could explain the dynamic of going to school w/ only girls (if that was the case) and how big sports were or anything that was truly remarkable about the experience only a Catholic school graduate could understand.

Please send all emails to: thehoulywoodreporter@gmail.com

Are you Sirius? Get lost, John Kerry.

America's least favorite Masshole and failed presidential candidate John Kerry can't resist keeping his name out of the press during this suspenseful awards season, scratch that, election year. With everyone from "Saturday Night Live" to Oprah Winfrey taking credit for the latest turn of events in the polls, John Kerry is ever-so-subtly getting his name out there by standing up to the big, evil media conglomerates that want to merge Sirius with XM into one superpower Satellite provider.

Kerry's attempt at playing the tough guy is about as convincing as Mariah Carey in "Glitter". He needs to get over himself already. If having a backbone meant something, he should have demonstrated that during the 2004 election when it would have mattered. Although our nation's turning its lonely eye to a new leader, it doesn't turn to you, Mr. Kerry. You may be one heck of a wind surfer, but you're no Joe DiMaggio.

Staying out of campaign strategery (for now), the horse-faced horse's ass is holding back faithful Sirius and XM subscribers from getting the best of both worlds by filibustering merger talks. As the Satellite radio industry has proven incredibly profitable since Howard Stern became the voice of Sirius just over two years ago with upwards of 12 million subscribers spread between both services, greater audiences have been hesitant to sign on due to indecision, not unlike the 2004 electoral turnout.

While Sirius boasts Stern, Martha Stewart, Deepak Chopra (my new favorite spiritual leader, thanks, Mike Myers) and my personal favorite all-Bruce Springsteen, Rolling Stones and Sinatra channels; XM broadcasts equally exhilarating programming in the form of all regular and post-season MLB games (even the New York Mets), as well as Oprah, Bob Dylan and diet-Stern shock-jocks Opie & Anthony as hosts (though O&A's relevance is open to debate).

With the vital FCC vote standing in the way of a merger, John Kerry has probably stalled our country's progress for another four years. Thanks for nothing, John Kerry. I thought you out of anyone would have tired of 57 varieties.

Rock Chalk Chicken Hawk...kU wins the NCAA title

As a former NCAA videographer for the University of Missouri, you better believe I was upset that kansas made it to the Final Four. kansas, not Kansas, the university never to be named a proper noun, per the 150+ year-old Border War rivalry and Mizzou's strict J-school guidelines, won victoriously over the Memphis Tigers. At least kU didn't beat the Missouri Tigers...Oh what does it matter anyway, the university I actually graduated from, Fordham University "New York's Jesuit University" won the league championship this year in football...the Patriot League. Oh, shut up. Rock Chalk Chicken Hawk, M-I-Z, F*ck kU!

George Clooney: I'd still do him

From the beginning of time, celebrities have complained about the perils of giving up their private lives in exchange for a shot at fame. From the curse of "The Little Rascals" (thanks, E!) to the recent wild-child antics of Britney Spears, these poor millionaires often suffer for their art. While it's easy to envy the lifestyles of the rich and famous, have you ever really wondered what problems your favorite stars like George Clooney must face? No? Me either.

People magazine's twice-crowned Sexiest Man Alive and Academy Award-winning (oh yeah) actor George Clooney fears not the public's disapproval in light of the just-leaked photographs of zombie gf Sarah Larson's colorful former Vegas past that stood to negatively affect the box office take of latest directorial effort "Leatherheads". I guess that's why he decided to date her in the first place.

Well, what could shake the confidence of the ever-modest self-deprecator? His rugged good looks, his bread and butter. The true OG silver fox (Sorry, Dr. Drew, I spoke out of turn), recently confided to the UK's Eve magazine, "I've got good screen hair so I must make the most of it before it falls out." He's so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him.

Exqueeze me, baking powder, but isn't this the same man who sported a mullet for the better part of a decade during which time the thesp fought killer tomatoes, teased preppy school girls ("Girrrrls!") and flirted with cranky overweight midwestern housewives? Yeah, I thought so.



And, didn't gorge George bloat out and grow a Wolfman Jack beard inspired by The DeNiro Method to score a second Sexiest Man Alive accolade, I mean, Oscar in 2005?

Your "Oceans" pranks don't fool me, Mr. Clooney; and nor will your looks as they fade or improve over time.

As it stands: I'd do a Mulleted Clooney. A Cesared Clooney. A gray Clooney. A fat Clooney. A bearded Clooney. Hell, even a toothless Clooney. Must I go on?

Just smile and look pretty. We love you just the way you are!

Papa-zao! Lohan invades TMZ offices

La Lohan, my second fave celeb doppelgänger (next to the Divine Miss Meryl, who coincidentally enough played LL's mother in Robert Altman's "A Prairie Home Companion"), appeared on Fox's TMZ show spoofing her legging-clad, Ariva-carrying self. Pitching a stalkerazzi "story" on her Hollywood whereabouts, LL delivered the LOLs. THIS is what Pop Fiction should have, but failed, to pull off. Kudos yet again, TMZ. Better luck next time, Ashton.

Thank You For Smoking The Magical Amount

The Truth campaign, the anti-smoking activist group (which Big Tobacco must legally support per a 1998 agreement with the states) recently released this show-stopping musical warning against "the magical amount" tobacco companies use to hook nonconformist/conformist yutes of the world into believing that smoking is cool. Since when has smoking not been cool? What narcs!



I don't know about you guys but this song TOTALLY makes me want to get up and dance an Irish jig, followed by consuming an entire carton of Marlboro Reds (quite possibly the nastiest ciggs on the planet) for several hours straight, completely uninterrupted, save for routine bouts of getting jiggy wit it. That unicorn is cute! And there's a leprechaun! And a fairy! And the cutely white boy reminds me of Nickelodeon's adorable Drake Bell. Le sigh.

Big Tobacco (Philip Morris (Altria), Lorillard, RJ Reynolds, and Brown & Williamson) may be smarter than all of us. Not only do they pay for their own negative publicity, they somehow find a way to poke fun at their addicting emo-killing image, while getting the rest of us to sing and dance. Those wily emo kids. They'd be too cool to get it anyway.

Puff, puff, pass.

Ba Ba, This is the Sound of Settling

A new study conducted by a psychologist at the University of Texas-Austin reveals “Attractive Women Want it All: Good Genes, Economic Investment, Parenting Proclivities and Emotional Commitment” in this month’s Evolutionary Psychology. The study found that among attractive women, few looking for a long-term relationship wanted to settle in any of the four areas; and those that did develop relationships compromised on one or more of the categories in order to do so.

Translation: Women settle in order to "land" a husband.

As much as it pains me to admit, maybe women's expectations of men really ask for more than (some) men are willing or more often than not, confident enough to provide. Because women's expectations are so high, maybe we often miss out on "the good (enough) guys" while chasing after an unrealistic ideal of the perfect mate. (Editorial note: and by women, I mean not just me. I have a friend who...)

Even though, we as women are held to an unrealistic standard of beauty, maybe we are just as shallow, when not too forgiving, as our male counterparts are more often considered.

As newly reunited rap duo Salt N Pepa famously rapped:

"My man is smooth like Barry, and his voice got bass/A body like Arnold with a Denzel face"

Whatta Man, indeed. But does thatta man exist? Maybe. Will we exhaust ourselves looking for the perfect soulmate? Probably.

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"My biological clock is TICKING LIKE THIS"- Marisa Tomei, "My Cousin Vinny"

I really don't want to wind up like the "Sex and the City" broads, pushing 40 and resorted to (ok fine, continuing to) trawl the bars for prime meat, but I also don't want to be punished for wanting it all. Manolo Blahniks hurt enough as it is.

In Tina Fey's upcoming movie "Baby Mama", Fey presents a careerwoman with little reproductive options in her late-30's who must enlist the redneck coupling of Amy Poehler and Dax Shepherd to carry her baby to term. Is that what option working girls must select when they've exhausted every effort to have it all?

Trailer for Baby Mama

Alternately, in "Knocked Up," Katherine Heigl's character had a choice to "smash-shmort" the result of an ill-fated one night stand with Seth Rogen's character but opted out for some unknown reason (a fictional movie, oh yeah). This careerwoman took a chance on a pudgy, unemployed stoner burn out and ultimately fell in love with an earnest, loyal, good-hearted person.

While I don't advise chucking one's birth control pills into the ocean as Adrianne Curry just did on the finale of "My Fair Brady: Maybe Baby" to convince hubby Christopher "Peter Brady" Knight of her commitment to the relationship, all I'm trying to say is, don't believe that that you can't have it all if you settle...in love.

I'm not saying we should all settle on the first shlump that looks our way, but maybe there is something to dating a guy, say a little less attractive (in looks, finances or first impression) than our "gorgeous, incredible amazing selves" will allow. (Quotations denoting the mantra my bellydance instructor Chappell tells us after every class)!

It worked on "The King of Queens," didn't it? While my inexplicable fat-man crush on Kevin James might not persuade everyone, how often do my friends and I ever actually fawn over guys that remotely resemble Kevin James or drive UPS trucks? With the exception of one nameless New York-based friend (rhymes with Trashley. Love ya, smooch!) who prefers dating big beasts of men (think the "overserved" Billy Bob from "Varsity Blues"), I can't say many women give up on perfection that easily. ("Ah Don't Want Yo' Life," anyone?)



While I don't condone dating anyone who has blatant disregard for their personal appearance, far too often my female counterparts often settle for...douchebags just to be in a relationship. This can usually be attributed to loneliness, low self-esteem and what Howard Stern calls "daddy issues". The proof is evidenced in another online blog called Hot Chicks with Douchebags , which highlights the phenomenon of undeserving men "landing" a dream girl or woman far out of their league. In Hollywood, we see this all the time, most famously when 1994's Playboy Playmate of the Year Anna-Nicole Smith married near-fossilized Texas billionaire J. Howard Marshall (R.I.P.).

But what if the douchebag has a good personality? As Jonah Hill's character complained in "Superbad":

"Are you out of your mind? Look at Jules' past dating record: She dated Dan Remming who's had a six pack since kindergarten, Jason Stone who looks like fucking Zach Morris, and Matt Mayer. Matt Mayer, he's the sweetest guy ever. Have you ever stared into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard The Beatles."

"Sha, right. And monkeys might fly out of my butt."- Wayne Campbell, "Wayne's World"

-------

I was hesitant to mention this, but Sunday night, I attended a seminar by psychotherapist/author Katherine Woodward-Thomas who wrote the book, "Calling in 'The One': Seven Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life" at my church in Santa Monica. I know it sounds a bit hokey but there must have been 100-200 single young men and women in attendance. Just tell a Catholic wine is served and you'll get a turnout longer than the seemingly never-ending Communion line...though I guess wine is served then, too. Details...

I know for a fact that I'm not ready to find 'the one' in less than two months, but I was touched by one thing Ms. Woodward-Thomas pointed out. She told us a happy relationship can not be attained with the same principles one uses to "achieve" promotions, degrees or financial success. Apparently, if you follow her guidelines, figure out what your hang-ups are and other miscellaneous mumbo jumbo, I guess you stop being so narrow-minded. Yeah, yeah. But I know what's best for me, right? And again, I don't want to settle.

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"Cinderella said to Snow White 'how does love get so off course'/ All I wanted was a white knight, with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse"- Faith Hill

I'll be the first to admit I once belonged to a Facebook group named, "Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations of Love" but speaking on behalf of my fellow "gorgeous, incredible amazing," and shockingly enough dateless girlfriends (no, not that kind of girlfriend, but the kind you have playdates with. Ok, this is not helping!), we can't idealize our lives into fantasies. It may not ever be as good as a Disney movie or an ABBA song, Muriel, but it can be damn good if we open ourselves to all possibilities.

This, is what I'm telling myself, at least. Because think about it: a guy with Arnold's body, Denzel's face and Barry's voice would be just plain freaky!

I guess it's safe to assume Gary cancelled Cupcake Wednesday again this week

After seeing comedian Artie Lange on "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch," I guess it's safe to assume Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'abate, professionally known as Howard Stern's long-suffering Producer, should permanently cancel Cupcake Wednesday effective immediately...for the love of all mankind.

In the past week, the guys on the show have been angry at Baba Booey for getting rid of humpday's favorite indulgence, not the show's favorite topic of discussion as the title implies, but America's favorite past time...Cupcake Wednesday.

Despite Artie's combined total weight loss of 5 lbs in the past year (a serious accomplishment), the Stern crew has been punished for Artie's reckless abandon (and I'm not talking about the ongoing "F" word drama that occured during an on-air fight between Lange and "High Pitch Mike," which frequent contributor George "Sulu" Takei is now hoping to settle). Artie's severe weight problem was on full display and the topic of discussion on Mr. Douche's show, an obstacle Mr. Lange admittedly does little to change.

While I don't watch "The Big Idea" very often, I can't deny the "je ne sais quoi" silver fox quality Deutsch possesses, not unlike that of AC360 or Dr. Drew Pinsky, particularly when he perches his glasses ever so thoughtfully in the corner of his mouth. (Note to Donny: trademark this before David Caruso pantomimes it into his next pained expression/sunglass removal/dramatic pause). I know the sun is hot in Miami, but sweet Jesus.



Though Deutsch usually plays hosts to real media pioneers such as Bill Gates and other, umm important people, such as The Donald or such as The Iraq, I mean Ann Coulter (?), he might be one of the few (if only) hosts that has even dared to commend Union City's finest, Mr. Dirty Work himself, other than Letterman and Conan.

Don't get it twisted and choke on your frosted kroellers just yet. I am a big fan of Artie's comedy (one of the main reasons I tune in to Howard 101 daily) and this was not intended to be an indictment of Artie's eating and substance abuse habits or even Deutsch. But I can not excuse Deutsch for blindfolding Artie into a lightning round taste test of cupcakes to exploit his larger-than-life personality for a cheap laugh.

Alright, even though the cupcakes in question came from New York's popular Crumbs Bake Shop (www.crumbsbakeshop.com) which did name a Black & White cupcake in Lange's honor, which donates proceeds to AIDS research (a fact mysteriously left out likely due to Lange's hateful homophobic slur against Stern show producer "High Pitch Mike"); this stunt served little more than to exploit Lange's physical appearance for a cheap laugh.

Having earlier praised Lange for his accomplishments in light of his addictions, Deutsch's continuing comparison of Lange to Belushi and Farley shows a lack of respect for this "funny fat guy" and CNBC's audience (oxymoron unintended). So long as he makes us laugh, make the boy sing.

Sure, Artie fell for it and most fatties would, too. Cupcakes are good! But, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, DONNY? You wouldn't give a bag of blow to today's drug-addled Hollywood starlets to snort up live on-air, would you? Though, I guess we see enough of that in the gossip-plagued news media as it is.



In any event, even though Artie went along with this disrespectful segment and is often the source of ridicule on the Stern show, maybe Artie will only get the help he so badly deserves when and if Gary banishes the coveted Cupcake Wednesday forever and holds him accountable for his extended "vacation days" off from the show.

It might be hard to swallow, but if we allow a cupcake a day (or even every Cupcake Wednesday) the doctor must stay; and I, for one, don't want to see Artie die before his prime. Sorry to further raise up your life insurance rates, Artie, but we're rooting for you!

Maybe we should call Dr. Drew instead? He's the OG silver fox, after all.

The Feminine Mystique...My Lovely Lady Hills

The NYT's review of MTV's hit un/scripted reality show, The Hills, now in the second week of its extended season 3, has been the talk of the town, no doubt helping the show garner the highest cable ratings of 2008. No, not for its scathing criticism, but instead for its endorsement of one Heidi Montag as a "kind of feminist hero," making one wonder, how much did Spencer have to pay to get his latest product/girlfriend/fembot mayjah exposure in the most venerable paper in the country? (Sorry WaPost, I'm a New Yorker, after all).

NYT Review of The Hills

Perhaps The Times can be accused of placating to the masses considering that the country's first major daily newspaper in Madison, Wisconsin became online-only last month. This trend will most definitely continue to grow as news corporations struggle to remain well, newsworthy, by continuing to lose exclusives to the blogosphere and previously untapped online ad revenue shares.

First Major Newspaper To End Print Editions In Transition To Internet

Newspapers all over are taking more risks. Last week, the LATimes posted an article released exclusively to the web incorrectly indicating Sean "Diddy" Combs's involvement in Tupac Shukar's untimely death, based on fabricated FBI testimony from an incarcerated, chubby white boy rapper (no, not Eminem), which they immediately recanted.

The Times apologizes over article on rapper

Now, is this Hills review a desperate shot to gain teen readers interested in the oft-ignored Gray Lady? I think so.

Although Ms. Bellafante has humorous remarks, comparing the show's plotless structure to Antonioni's wavering modernist filmmaking (it does? whoops, didn't notice) and Whitney's blank expression to that of a Shakespearian mute, I can't ignore her praise of Heidi, an opportunist, or dare I say, famewhore?

Personally, I would be remiss if I didn't admit to pining for unattainable guys a la Lauren Conrad, but I really can't imagine young girls looking up to Heidi Montag or any of the girls on The Hills, for that matter. I'm looking in your general direction, Audrina Patridge. The other Shakespearian mute and sidekick of LC, who just apologized to the "young girls who look up to me" over leaked (by who?) nudie shots of her before she was "famous" hit the 'net one week prior to The Hills return. Likely story.



Nevermind Thing #2. Heidi, LC's arch nemesis, dropped out of fashion school after one day, tricked her manipulative boyfriend into thinking she was pregnant just to see his reaction (The Hills Season 1), and stayed with said boyfriend despite his repeat indiscretions and general mistreatment of her because he is the next great ad wizard (Donny Deutsch, you'e my next target) having sold drunken underage pictures of MK Olsen during high school, which he bragged about in last year's GQ feature story on him and former bff Brody Jenner (mmm Brody Jenner). Where do they fiiiiiind these ad wizards?


Pardon the interruption but wow. Who knew Robin packed so much heat? I guess having a world champion decathlete for a father can't hurt. Call me, Brody!

But I digress. Call me a baroque moralist, if you will, Ms. Bellafonte, but I'm on Team LC on this one, if I must choose or lose. I just can't respect someone who so obviously stages photo opps and a showmance complete with on-again/off-again breakups with a Machiavellian madman just to land on the cover of US Weekly week after week, while I would rather be watching Britney's latest act of unbridled shamelessness. Or was it Miley Cyrus? I can't remember what "South Park" told me to think. Furthermore, I can't respect the depiction of Heidi as a responsible working woman and a trusted associate of nightlife impressario Brent Bolthouse, who likely hired Heidi to yield his dope clubs and restaurants maximum publicity on the sickest Network out there, fo sho. (Scooch over. Save me some room in VIP, will ya?)

And don't even get me started on The Hills's upper right-hand corner hipster band to watch advertisements this season, either, although it sure beats the incessant whining of Natasha Beddingfield. No, I don't want to feel the rain on my skin, quite frankly.

Speaking of which, if Heidi was a career woman, how would she have time to stage so many scantily clad bikini beach shots in Malibu (which Jimmy Kimmel recently ribbed her for) or to hit the studio in what Spencer projects will be "diamond" selling records. (Is there even such a thing? I thought after platinum, artists are just confirmed "quadruple-platinum" selling artists and such).

Best Week Ever Presents: Heidi Montag's Video for "Higher"

Well, maybe Heidi has outsmarted LC, The NYTimes and even yours truly. Given her record deal and forthcoming "Heidiwood" clothing line set to launch at Anchor Blue stores at a mall near you, perhaps famewhoring has its rewards in the end?

Although media scholars would have projected reality television to have run its course by now, the truth remains: it is really addicting and better than a lot of the crap on network TV. ("According to Jim", anyone? Even this shameful reference has been tired since "Arrested Development" got cancelled.) Nevermind, the fact that my DVR list consists of Kardashians, Real Housewives and yes, even the groupies on Rock of Love 2. When will we tire of the shameless self-promotion of power hungry hot girls? Will we stop rewarding cowardice with approval? When Paris finds a new BFF?

With our first serious female contender running for president, do we reward the working woman or would we rather see catty, pretty girls fight over boyfriends or "boyfriends" in Heidi's case? Do we all not so/secretly harbor adoration so much that we can't get enough? Maybe The NYTimes' adulation of The Hills is the latest example of the struggling news industry's attempt to find relevance in an otherwise dismissive society. Who really knows? The rest is still unwritten.